Sunday, November 9, 2014

Diary of a Crohn's Flare: Faking it

This entry ties into my previous one on perceptions.

In my everyday life, I work very hard to not allow my discomfort to show.  I do this at work and I do this at home.  When the pain gets really intense (a 5 or above on my pain scale), I am able to turn my face into an expressionless mask that does not show any grimaces or other signs that I'm hurting.  If circumstances permit (I won't be driving, I have them with me, etc.) I *will* take pain or anti-cramping medications if they're available.

Some people have commented on my "lack of emotion" and "cold logical demeanor" but at least some of that comes from my efforts to spare outsiders the details of my disease.

Heaven (and my wife) know, I'm not ashamed of it and I'm not shy about my disease (I'm sharing this all with you after all!) but for me there are times when I feel it's inappropriate for my disease to interfere with what's going on around me.

That could be an important business meeting with a customer or it could be eating a nice evening meal with my family.  I sometimes don't have the luxury of succumbing to my pain.

So I fake it and pretend I'm comfortable and having a good time.

Please let me know what you think of this.  Is it appropriate or should I allow those around me to know how I'm really feeling?

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