Warning: this post contains information about my sex life. If you find this sort of information lurid or offensive please stop reading now and move on to my next entry.
On a side note (and you'll discover the significance later in this post :) ), I had long considered a morning erection to be a sign that I urgently had to urinate. However, over the last couple of years, I ran across an article which indicated that morning erections were a response to the body's release of testosterone, Before the start of this Crohn's flare, I would normally experience a morning erection several times per week.
I found that running or other exercise tended to both increase my libido and increase the number of morning erections that I experienced in a week.
Over the period of time from December of 2013 through May of 2014 we settled into the habit of having sex once every 1-2 weeks depending upon what was going on in our lives. Since I was traveling out of town nearly every week for work, if we missed an opportunity on the weekend, that would often translate into no sex until the next weekend.
I did not find this decrease in sexual activity as frustrating as I had in previous years.
As the treatment continued for this abscess, I suffered from multiple bouts of sepsis. These both hurt and added to the sense of systemic unwellness. I suspect my body's fight against this infection used up much of my energy reserves. Honestly, I stopped physically desiring sex at all over this time and although I remained mentally in favor of having sex, I felt no urgency in ensuring that it happened. From the diagnosis of this abscess until now (9/2) all sex that I've had with my spouse was initiated by my spouse.
The frequency of sex was very rare over this time. I believe we only had sex once while I had the mid-line installed. I do not think we had sex at all while I had the PICC line installed - although we did try, I was unable to maintain an erection. Once again, I believe that my body was simply to sick to muster the resources necessary for sex.
After this surgery, my wife explicitly asked the surgeon about when we could resume our sexual relationship. The surgeon admonished us to not have sex for six weeks after the surgery. He told us they were afraid of putting too much stress on the sutures and/or causing a hernia.
Despite this my wife and I successfully engaged in intercourse 11 days after the surgery. We used a position in which I remained essentially motionless and she did all the movement. I have to say the sex was very satisfying, however, I was also in more pain for a day or two afterwards. My advice to others is: follow your surgeon's advice but if the patient simply can't wait that long, do everything in your power to minimize the stresses to the incision. Also be prepared to pay some consequences for disobeying the surgeon's advice.
At the risk of providing a bit too much detail, the position that worked for us was me sitting up-right in bed and my wife mount my by sitting astride me. She provided all of the motion and I worked very hard at not providing any motion.
Background
I've always had a bit higher than average libido and my libido is certainly higher than my spouse's libido. I have typically wanted sex 2-4 times per week and we have typically had sex once per week to once per month (and sometimes less often than that). This has been a source of constant strain throughout our marriage.On a side note (and you'll discover the significance later in this post :) ), I had long considered a morning erection to be a sign that I urgently had to urinate. However, over the last couple of years, I ran across an article which indicated that morning erections were a response to the body's release of testosterone, Before the start of this Crohn's flare, I would normally experience a morning erection several times per week.
I found that running or other exercise tended to both increase my libido and increase the number of morning erections that I experienced in a week.
Abscess 1
With the beginnings of this flare in December of 2013, I found that my libido declined. I knew I didn't want sex as much but I wasn't certain why this was. I was in constant low-mid level pain, I was taken opiate pain killers, jarring motions caused more pain, I had intestinal cramping, and I simply didn't feel all that well. I really didn't spend too much time thinking about it because my spouse was understanding (or maybe relieved) by the decrease in my libido.Over the period of time from December of 2013 through May of 2014 we settled into the habit of having sex once every 1-2 weeks depending upon what was going on in our lives. Since I was traveling out of town nearly every week for work, if we missed an opportunity on the weekend, that would often translate into no sex until the next weekend.
I did not find this decrease in sexual activity as frustrating as I had in previous years.
Abscess 2
I was diagnosed with my second abscess in June of 2014. This abscess was somewhat less painful in the beginning than the December 2013 abscess. However, it lingered and over time, I began to feel much less well throughout my body.As the treatment continued for this abscess, I suffered from multiple bouts of sepsis. These both hurt and added to the sense of systemic unwellness. I suspect my body's fight against this infection used up much of my energy reserves. Honestly, I stopped physically desiring sex at all over this time and although I remained mentally in favor of having sex, I felt no urgency in ensuring that it happened. From the diagnosis of this abscess until now (9/2) all sex that I've had with my spouse was initiated by my spouse.
The frequency of sex was very rare over this time. I believe we only had sex once while I had the mid-line installed. I do not think we had sex at all while I had the PICC line installed - although we did try, I was unable to maintain an erection. Once again, I believe that my body was simply to sick to muster the resources necessary for sex.
Surgery & Recovery
After my previous major surgery in 1998, I managed to engage in sex with my spouse only two weeks the surgery before discovering that I should refrain from sex for a number of weeks. I didn't cause damage to my incision and it was satisfying but I also required pain medication in order to do so. We later found out we were supposed to refrain from sex but we continued to have sex - rarely - before the surgeon gave us the go-ahead.After this surgery, my wife explicitly asked the surgeon about when we could resume our sexual relationship. The surgeon admonished us to not have sex for six weeks after the surgery. He told us they were afraid of putting too much stress on the sutures and/or causing a hernia.
Despite this my wife and I successfully engaged in intercourse 11 days after the surgery. We used a position in which I remained essentially motionless and she did all the movement. I have to say the sex was very satisfying, however, I was also in more pain for a day or two afterwards. My advice to others is: follow your surgeon's advice but if the patient simply can't wait that long, do everything in your power to minimize the stresses to the incision. Also be prepared to pay some consequences for disobeying the surgeon's advice.
At the risk of providing a bit too much detail, the position that worked for us was me sitting up-right in bed and my wife mount my by sitting astride me. She provided all of the motion and I worked very hard at not providing any motion.
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